Friday, December 30, 2011

New Year's.....Decisions....

I don't like new year's resolutions.  Maybe it's me getting old and grumpy, maybe it's sheer semantics, but making resolutions just bugs me.  I think that they're artificial in nature and somewhat forced upon us.  I prefer to think about making decisions for my life, and not just at the end of December.

That being said, the upcoming new year is a natural time to evaluate, see where we are, and decide whether we're on track to where we want to be.  As always, I realize that life has taken me in numerous directions that I didn't expect or plan for.  It's been a year of fantastic highs and some devastating lows, but I find myself back on a fairly even keel as the year closes.  I've learned a new skill, knitting, which has helped me maintain my sanity during some of the lows (and provided my newborn niece with a hat and mittens).  I pushed myself harder than I ever have when it comes to theater, which gave me new confidence and pride in my performance.  I've settled into being a happy homeowner, learning more and more about how to maintain the house without paying someone to do it for me. 

On the other hand, I find that my social center has shifted drastically this year.  Close friends have had changes in their lives which have moved them in other directions--some good, some bad.  Obviously I want them to find their happiness, but selfishly it's left me feeling a bit unsettled socially as I just don't get to see them very often these days.

So I need to make some decisions for my life.  Going out to seek a new social center is the biggie right now.  It won't be easy for me, as I'm about as shy an extrovert as you'll meet.  Once I'm comfortable among people I'm generally very, very happy.  But reaching out to those people is very difficult for me.  Meeting people is difficult in your 30s, but I'm hoping that perhaps taking a class or two will help me on that road.  For the sake of sanity, it's a step I'll need to take.  And I need to reach out to the friends that I have and be the organizer of the social events.  I know I'll be a happier person for it.

Being the curmudgeon that I am, I feel very clichéd making that kind of decision at this time of year but there's something comforting about recognizing it and moving toward a solution.  And once that's settled, I can work on making other any time of the year.

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